7 Things I Wish I Knew Before Pregnancy

I always knew I wanted to be a momma, but in all honesty having a baby earlier than planned caught us by surprise! 

As young adults, we always plan out our lives in order with our significant others; moving into your first place together, marriage, a home, settling down and forming a family - everything I knew I always wanted. It was not until I found out that I was pregnant that I realized that I didn't know I was ready until it actually happened. Take a look at my previous blog post on how we found out and how I am currently doing! 

I also came to the realization that it is okay to not follow everything by the book or in order. Everyones situation is different and everyone is taking life at their own pace. We are so blessed to be able to be in a good place to provide for our baby, but I have had to learn a lot since I was not properly prepared. 

Here are Seven Things I Wish I Knew Before Pregnancy.

- THE IMPORTANCE OF LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE AND DIET

Long story short - I love food!!! I always knew my diet flucuated, but pre-pregnancy was quarantine time and my diet was not the best. Not to mention the at-home workout motivation was completely different than the gym motivation so I was on the couch or teleworking from my bed almost every.single.day. Because of this, I am now on a restricted diet during pregnancy instead of being able to indulge in my favorite foods like tacos and pasta. Excluding the fact that I got pregnant, having a healthy lifestyle is overall important and I wish I would have done a better job at being healthy and active when I had the chance. It is so important to consume your daily protein, healthy fats, vegetables for iron and vitamins, sufficient dairy intake and eating less processed/junk food. I am currently taking Vitron-C for my iron-deficiency anemia and on a keto diet due to being pre-diabetic (your A1C blood work levels are determined starting from three months in advance so quarantine got the best of me). These both commonly occur during pregnancy and can be managed, but to be honest it scared me so much when the doctors provided my blood work results, especially since I am growing a little human inside. It is best to prevent it from happening if you are planning for pregnancy or not. As for exercising, I do my daily prenatal yoga which works really well to stretch the hips and body as well as avoiding sitting/laying down during the day. Lots of walking, lots of movement, and staying active!

- HEIGHTENED ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

This part of pregnancy caught me so off guard. Halfway through my first trimester, I realized I was overthinking every single little thing in my daily life, in my relationship, and in life overall. When I start to overthink, my anxiety starts to kick in. It got so bad to the point where my depression got worse. I found myself not eating, staying in bed all day, sleeping all day while teleworking, no energy, not cleaning the apartment, not reaching out to anyone - this is a really dark place to be in, especially during pregnancy. An unplanned pregnancy made me question my abilities of being a mother. It's not that I was scared to be a mom, it's the haunting question if I will be a great mom and provide for my child the way I have always wanted. I didn't have time to fully process that I'm going to be a mom so it all hit me at once. Recently, I have been having dreams of having a miscarriage and losing my baby. I have researched and found that this is common when pregnant because there is a fear of losing the child. These dreams also reflect a new change and transformation in life in which the mom is taking in a new life and has to think of herself and the baby from now on. These dreams have left me restless and even having anxiety when I do sleep. I have been trying ways to manage like walking my dog more frequently, reading daily affirmations and scriptures, and I want to get back into painting in hopes of rekindling my love for it. I have learned that there is no manual or book to do this, but I am learning everyday, taking this one step at a time, and learning to live more in the moment to enjoy my pregnancy. It's a daily battle but with God, I know I can overcome this. Mental health is important everyday!

- NOT ALL PREGNANCIES ARE THE SAME

We all have friends and family that have given birth at some point. They share their beautiful story to share those timeless moments with close people. Now that I am pregnant myself, my story is completely different than anyone else I know. I have heard stories of pregnancy symptoms of being super nauseous, morning sickness and not able to eat certain foods due to heightened smells with having a boy and a girl, but I am no where near any of that with my pregnancy. Women have also told me stories on how they used to be lactose intolerant but during pregnancy, they were able to consume milk. NOPE. I am still just as lactose intolerant as I was pre-pregnancy, probably even worse. Stories like this help you prepare for the worst and the best, but every woman will take in a pregnancy different than the next person. Expect the unexpected, but do not compare pregnancies! 

- THIS IS YOUR BABY AND YOUR PREGNANCY

I am still learning this as I go, but damn the amount of times I have bumped heads with my mom, sister and my dad since I announced I'm pregnant is ridiculous. There were many arguments that questioned my ability on being a mother. At the end of the day, I know my family will always look out for my best interest, but it is super important to put your foot down and let your family know this is YOUR baby and this is what YOU (and your significant other) want to do. Parents will always want to be super involved in everything, but establishing that line of parents and grandparents is important before the babys arrival. Be firm on the decisions you think is best for you and your baby.

- BABY MEDICAL EXPENSES

With this pregnancy being unexpected, I was not ready for the medical expenses to come about for each doctors visit. I thankfully have insurance, but unexpected co-pays and medical bills have been more than I thought. All while having bills to pay, credit cards and student loans, this is an add-on I recommend preparing for. A tip I learned from a close friend is to find out if you qualify for state insurance (medicaid). Pregnant women may qualify if you make under a certain amount annually. Having that secondary insurance as a back up can cover the costs your primary does not. If you do not have a primary, applying for the medicaid will help SO much!

- MATERNITY LEAVE

As I began planning for maternity leave, HR notified me the maternity benefits. I am a contractor for the government and I was honestly livid with the maternity leave the company I work for offers. Maryland does not require paid maternity leave, but being a contracting company I would have expected something good. The benefits are 6 weeks of maternity leave using PTO until all PTO is exhausted, any day after that would be unpaid. I do not want to put Antonny in a position to pay for all of our expenses plus the baby expenses for a month and a half so these benefits were disappointing. I found this incredibly ridiculous and has turned me into an advocate for maternity leave to be prioritized in ALL workplaces. Only FOUR states out of all FIFTY have required paid maternity leave - California, Georgia, New Jersey and Rhode Island. Worst case, I would stay at my current job, take the six weeks and use PTO. I have been applying to other jobs to find a permanent remote job in order to stay home and take care of my baby. I would not want to hire a babysitter or daycare to take care of my child due to many MANY stories and news articles out there of child abuse/abduction in the facilities.

- YOU ARE STRONG AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Carrying a little human inside is not easy. That itself is AMAZING and makes every woman so strong and powerful. Although it is an incredibly beautiful process to see the body change and take in the baby, there is so much more than what people see. There will be moments of feeling down, tired, giving up, being fed up, being uncomfortable and feeling like you can't physically function anymore. The ability that pregnant women have with getting up every morning and going about their daily routine while taking care of a human inside of them is astounding and really makes you think how great the human body works. 

In the moments of feeling alone, remind yourself that you are NEVER alone. I have always been one to hate feeling alone, especially being home all day in quarantine by myself waiting for Antonny to come home. Having my little boy inside of me has helped so much with not feeling alone. I talk to him, play music for him, and have a normal conversation with him. I feel as though my baby responds with how my body reacts to what I say or do. Reaching out to close friends, family, other mamas and especially your significant other is so important to not feeling alone. 

Remember to take deep breaths and know that you got this. God does not give His warriors anything they can't handle.